Funny family quotes are a perfect way to lighten the mood and celebrate the quirks of our loved ones. We’ve all experienced those moments when our relatives say or do something so absurd that we can’t help but chuckle. Need a funny quote to share on social media or send in your family group chat? Look no further than this list of hilarious (and relatable) sibling quotes, brother quotes, and other family members.
Family life is wild, wonderful, and occasionally weird. We laugh at the chaos, smile through the madness, and find humor in the everyday moments that make us who we are. These quotes capture the beautiful insanity of family life in ways that’ll make you nod, chuckle, and maybe share with your crazy crew.
Short Funny Family Quotes
Sometimes all you need is something funny family quotes to make you laugh and forget your problems. And these short, funny family quotes are all you need.
- “If you think I’m crazy, wait till you meet my family.”
- “Family is like that annoying itch you can’t scratch.”
- “Since the kid was born, I’ve slept like a baby, not at all! In my family, crazy doesn’t skip a generation.”
- “Siblings are your first frenemies.”
- “Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”
- “I smile because you’re my family, and I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it. Fatherhood is great because you can raise someone from scratch.”
- “We are more than family. We are like a tiny gang. I’m sane compared to my sister.”
- “The bigger your family, the bigger your problems. My family is temperamental. Half temper, half mental. Some call it chaos; we call it family.”
- “The only thing more exhausting than having kids is pretending you don’t have kids when they’re around.” — Unknown
- “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.” — Cary Grant
- “Family gatherings are an effective form of birth control.” — Unknown
- “Family is like music, some high notes, some low notes, but always a beautiful song.” — Unknown
- “Family is the heart of a home.” — Unknown
- “Whoever established the high road and how high it should be should be fired.” — Sandra Bullock
- “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” — George Carlin
- “If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” — Ace Ventura, “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective”
- “I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.” —Carrie Bradshaw, “Sex and the City”
- “The suspense is terrible. I hope it’ll last.” — Willy Wonka, “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory”
- “Having children is like living in a frat house—nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” — Ray Romano
- “Children really can brighten up a house because they never turn the lights off.” — Ralph Bus
- “Nobody is more full of false hope than a Mom who places items on the stairs for her family members to carry up.” — Anonymous
- “When your mother asks for a piece of advice, it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no, you’re going to get it anyway.” — Erma Bombeck
Funny Quotes About Family
These funny quotes about family capture the essence of those laugh-out-loud moments that make family life so entertaining.
- “The family that argues together, stays together… or at least has plenty to talk about at therapy.” — Unknown
- “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” — Erma Bombeck
- “There’s nothing that makes you more insane than family.”
- “Or happier. Or more exasperated. Or more secure. – Jim Butcher The families of one’s friends are always a disappointment.” – Norman Douglas
- “Home is where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in. – Robert Frost Families are like fudge, mostly sweet, with a few nuts.” – Les Dawson
- “In our family, we don’t hide crazy. We put it on the front porch and give it a cocktail.” Humans are not proud of their ancestors and rarely invite them to dinner. – Douglas Adams
- “A family is a social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.” – Evan Esar Home
- “Nowadays, it is where part of the family waits until the rest of the family brings the car back.” – Earl Wilson
- “Family life is too intimate to be preserved by the spirit of justice. It can be sustained by a spirit of love which goes beyond justice.” – Reinhold Niebuhr Read
- “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” — George Burns
- “Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.” ― P.J. O’Rourke, “All the Trouble in the World”
- “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” — Shirley MacLaine
Family Quotes Funny About Kids
The family quotes funny about kids capture the funny side of parenthood, from chaotic experiences to the daily humor children bring into our lives.
- “Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.”—P.J. O’Rourke
- “You know what it’s like having five Kids. Imagine you are drowning. And someone hands you a baby.” —Jim Gaffigan
- “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
- “When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief.” —Henry Fielding
- “A 2-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.” —Jerry Seinfeld
- “The reason I love kids so much is because they’re so honest, so you know right away if they like you or they don’t.” —Colin Egglesfield
- “Having one kid makes you a parent. Having two kids makes you a referee.” —David Frost
Family Quotes Funny About Siblings
- “Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.” —Lemony Snicket
- “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.” —Bob Hope
- “Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were 5.” —Pam Brown
- “What strange creatures brothers are!” —Jane Austen
- “You can kid the world but not your sister.” —Charlotte Gray
- “If you don’t annoy your big sister for no good reason from time to time, she thinks you don’t love her anymore.” —Pearl Cleage
- “It was nice growing up with someone like you—someone to lean on, someone to count on … someone to tell on!” —Anonymous
Funny Family Christmas Quotes
The most wonderful time of the year can also be the most chaotic. Embrace the holiday madness with these funny family quotes that capture the hilarious realities of family Christmas gatherings, from gift-giving fails to questionable decorations.
- “My family’s Christmas tradition is to argue about which Christmas tradition we’re breaking this year.”— Unknown
- “It’s not a Christmas tree until it’s held together with zip ties and prayers.”— Unknown
- “Peace on Earth? More like ‘Pass the mashed potatoes, please.'”— Unknown
- “The only thing getting lit this Christmas is the gingerbread house.”— Unknown
- “All I want for Christmas is a silent night.”— Unknown
- “Dear Santa, I’ve been goodish.”— Unknown
- “Christmas is a time for family, friends, and figuring out how to regift that fruitcake.”— Unknown
- “Does anyone else use Christmas as an excuse to eat their feelings?”— Unknown
- “Dear Santa, define ‘nice.'”— Unknown
- “I’m only a morning person on December 25th.”— Unknown
- “May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmas lights work.”— Unknown
- “This year, instead of gifts, I’m giving my family the gift of my absence.”— Unknown
- “My Christmas spirit is 90% eggnog.”— Unknown
- “My holiday workout routine consists of lifting cookies to my mouth.”— Unknown
- “If my family were a Christmas carol, it would be ‘Silent Night’—with a few verses missing.”— Unknown
- “Family is the best Christmas gift.”— Unknown
- “The best part about Christmas is the presents. Said no parent ever.”— Unknown
- “My family’s idea of a Christmas miracle is when no one starts crying at dinner.”— Unknown
- “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Sing along to that off-key Christmas carol.”— Unknown
- “Christmas calories don’t count.”— Unknown
- “This year, I’m giving everyone the gift of not having to listen to me complain about Christmas.”— Unknown
- “The only thing I love more than opening presents is watching my kids open theirs.”— Unknown
- “Family is like a Christmas stocking. Full of surprises, some good, some questionable.”— Unknown
- “A balanced diet during the holidays is a cookie in each hand.”— Unknown
- “The only thing better than a Christmas tree is a Christmas tree with presents underneath.”— Unknown
- “The best way to survive Christmas dinner is to show up with a bottle of wine and a sense of humor.”— Unknown
- “Family is the greatest gift of all. Except when they eat the last piece of pie.”— Unknown
- “May your holidays be filled with joy, laughter, and enough batteries for all the toys.”— Unknown
- “I’m dreaming of a wine Christmas.”— Unknown
- “Family: The people who love you even when you steal the last Christmas cookie.”— Unknown
- “The tree isn’t the only thing getting lit this Christmas.”— Unknown
Holiday Traditions and Family Gatherings
Sometimes holiday traditions need small adjustments to improve the family experience for everyone involved.
- “My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we’re having a change. We’re going to let her in.” — Les Dawson
- “At Christmas, tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional.” — Robert Godden
- “I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, ‘Toys not included.”— Bernard Manning
- “It’s that special time of year when your whole family gathers together in one place to look at their cellphones.” — Jimmy Kimmel
Christmas Trees and Family Miracles
Real Christmas trees often require creative engineering solutions to remain upright throughout the holiday season.
- “It’s not a Christmas tree until it’s held together with zip ties and prayers.”
- “Peace on Earth? More like ‘Pass the mashed potatoes, please.”
- “May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmas lights actually work.”
- “The tree isn’t the only thing getting lit this Christmas.”
- “The best way to survive Christmas dinner is to show up with a bottle of wine and a sense of humor.”
Family Reunion Quotes Funny
Family reunión quotes bring together all the personalities, stories, and quirks that make your family special. Sometimes that means laughter, drama, and usually a mix of both that creates unforgettable memories.
- “My family tree is more like a cactus. Prickly but resilient.”— Unknown
- “I love my family, but I don’t always like them. It’s complicated.”— Unknown
- “Every family has that one relative who’s a walking meme. Mine is a GIF.”— Unknown
- “Family reunions: Where the food is good and the drama is better.”— Unknown
- “Blood is thicker than water, but sometimes it’s also stickier.”— Unknown
- “My family reunion is a live-action Where’s Waldo? with questionable fashion choices.”— Unknown
- “I’m not saying my family is weird, but we once had a staring contest with a taxidermied squirrel.”— Unknown
Ghosts, Insults, and Colorful Characters
- “You know you’re family when you can insult each other and no one gets offended.”
- “If you don’t believe in ghosts, you’ve never been to a family reunion.”
- “My family is like a box of crayons – each one is different, but they all color my world.”
- In my family, we don’t keep skeletons in the closet. We make them dance at family reunions.”
Family Circus and Portrait Perfection
- “My family is like a circus. I’m the ringmaster, and everyone else is a clown.”
- When life gives you lemons, make lemonade… and invite your family over for a barbecue.”
- “My family is like a circus. I’m the ringmaster, and everyone else is a clown.”
- “A family portrait is a picture of everyone trying to look normal at the same time.”
Crazy Funny Family Quotes
From personality quirks to inherited traits, family craziness is often the glue that holds everyone together and creates the best stories.
- “I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.” — Fred Allen
- “I’ve come to learn that the best time to debate family members is with food in their mouths.” — Anonymous
- “I realized my family was funny because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.” — Anthony Anderson
- “Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.” — Anonymous
- “Nothing better than spending the entire morning staring into my baby daughter’s eyes, whispering, ‘I can’t do this.’” — Ryan Reynolds
Beautiful Madness and Family Pride
- “Family is the only place where you can act insane and people will still love you.”
- In my family, crazy is a compliment.”
- “Normal families are boring. I’ll keep my crazy, fun, amazing family any day.”
- “In my family, we don’t call it ‘crazy.’ We call it ‘personality.”
Temperamental Families and Missing Crazy People
- “I love my family. They’re a beautiful kind of crazy that fits me perfectly.”
- “My family is temperamental. Half temper, half mental.”
- “Home is wherever my bunch of crazies are.”
Conclusion
Family, as they’re the ones who know how to push your buttons, test your patience, and yet, make you laugh until your sides ache. We hope these funny family quotes have brightened your day and reminded you of the hilarious moments that make family life so special.Read more:instagram captions